This is my salad bar I shall not want
He taketh me to lie beside crisp lettuce
He restoreth my artichoke and healeth my green pepper
He leadeth me to the mushrooms and squanders not the bean sprouts
Yea thou I walk thru the valley of the hidden ranch I shall fear no dressing
The bread stick shall be my staff and the Bermuda onion shall be my shield
Thou shalt lay waste thy mighty tomato and raise up the lowly radish
Smite thy unruly cucumber with croutons and anointest thy broccoli with vinegar and oil
None shalt withstand the righteous carrot but low the man who's folly lay's forth the garbanzo bean
Surely good food and desert shall follow all the salads of my life
And I shalt dwell on the coleslaw forever
AMEN